Tujuan presentasi di depan umum adalah untuk meyakinkan audiens mengenai hal yang ingin kita sampaikan. Misalnya untuk menjual produk, mendapatkan proyek, meyakinkan manajemen perusahaan, ataupun membererikan ide. Salah satu cara agar audiens mengerti dan mau mendengarkan presentasi kita adalah dengan secara sadar melakukan kontak mata (eye contact) satu persatu dengan beberapa peserta. Walaupun banyak gunanya, tidak semua orang melakukan kontak mata saat mereka melakukan presentasi. Ada rasa kurang percaya diri jika melakukannya.
Berikut ini adalah cukilan dari Buku Brian Tracy, Speak To Win, mengenai beberapa mitos keliru mengenai kontak mata =
Myth #1: Some people don't like to receive eye contact. It frightens
them and they feel put on the spot.
Guess what-this statement is likely a lot more about your fear as
a speaker than the fear of the audience member. An audience
member wants to be drawn in. Even if his body language says,
"I don't want to sit in this meeting or listen to the presentation."No
one likes to be bored. Everyone, ultimately, longs to be engaged.
It is my job as a speaker to engage him, and offering eye contact
is one of the most powerful ways of accomplishing just that.
Yes, if my intention is to intimidate or antagonize the audience
member, he'll look away. But we're not talking about staring
someone down, or giving him the evil eye. The intent behind
the eye contact needs to be clear and consistent: I invite you to
join me. I want to connect with you. I want you to understand
why our topic is important. I know what I'm saying will have
a tangible impact on your life.
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Myth #2: If you're nervous at the beginning of a presentation,
don't look at the audience but look slightly above their heads!
Rubbish-you'll just stay nervous this way. The blank wall in
the back of the room is not your friend. It will not relax you or
take the nervousness away. It will keep you talking into a void.
It will, in fact, accelerate the anxiety in your head and tighten
the knot in your stomach, because, moment by moment, you
will be creating a speech that is truly not arriving anywhere. The
only way to start easing nervousness is to turn a monologue into
a conversation. Right away. Find a friendly face in the crowd.
Lock eyes with the individual. Receive her eye contact. The
anxiety will start to fade. Guaranteed.
Myth #3: The best way to make eye contact with an audience is
to consistently scan the room.
This is what coaches taught speakers fifteen or twenty years ago.
I call it the "retro"-and mind you, not retro-chic-school of eye
contact management. The practice of scanning sharply delineates
the generation gap in the public speaking cycle of life. Now, please
don't misunderstand me-a little bit of scanning is, indeed, a desirable
thing. By "scanning," I refer to the practice of letting the eyes
roam wide across the audience so every audience member feels
addressed by the speaker. This, however, is the fear: The eyes will be
tempted to race around the room as if the speaker were on speed.
They will want to "run away" with the speech. Quite literally so.
This fear is based on watching speaker after speaker who has
been coached the scanning way. Their eyes soon begin to resemble
a pair of airplanes high above a busy airport, circling and circling,
waiting in vain for traffic control to give them permission to land.
Imagine being the pilot who has to navigate such a flight-a flight
that has taken off and then never, ever lands! Scan a bit if you
must. But let your eyes settle on one person. Stay for a sentence or
a thought. Direct your eye contact to another audience member.
Connect. Move on. Connect with someone else. Move on.
This sounds simple, doesn't it? Well-the alternative
approach I just outlined invariably leads us to another myth.
Myth #4: If I don't scan, I won't be able to give everyone the
impression that I'm including them.
Sure you will. By looking at one person with intent, that individual
will know that you are making direct eye contact with him.
The unexpected side benefit is that the folks sitting in the vicinity
of this individual will feel like you are talking directly to them as
well. Why is this so? You are, after all, not looking directly at them!
Sustained eye contact with one individual strongly and compellingly
channels all of our energy to that part of the room.
Scanning, on the other hand, consistently scatters our energy
throughout.We think we're addressing everyone as we scan. The
impact, usually, is entirely the opposite: No one feels as if they
are truly spoken to.
Folks sitting around the person receiving sustained eye contact
will experience you much more strongly through that act of eye
contact than if your eyes were to pass over them for a moment and
move on. They will feel like they are receiving your personal eye
contact as well, while what they are actually experiencing is the
laser focus of your energy, which is clear, direct, and undiluted.
Sustained personal eye contact is, indeed, the most economical
way of addressing and engaging an entire cluster in your audience.
Myth #5: I can't possibly hold eye contact all the time. I have
to look away when I don't know what to say.
Let me rephrase this myth just a bit. For many of us, it feels like
a natural instinct to look away when we don't know what to say.
This is often the moment when we feel most vulnerable-we're
at a sudden loss for words. We feel flustered and panicked. We
feel that whoever we look at can see right through us.
It is, in a way, our most powerful moment as a speaker. It so
brilliantly illustrates the two tracks we always walk when we
speak:We're connecting with an audience member, and we are at
the same time creating the next word, the next sentence, the next
line of thought. Consistently walking both tracks is a challenge for
any speaker whose presentation is not "canned." The moment we
look away, however-to the floor, the ceiling, wherever our eyes
choose to go-we give away part of our power. I invite you to hold
on to your power. Stay connected to a member of your audience.
Fearlessly, shamelessly, even when the next sentence hasn't materialized
yet.
Myth #6: In some cultures, eye contact is considered rude and
offensive. I don't want to offend anyone with my eye contact.
Yes-there are cultures where it is considered impolite to stare
at folks directly. Should you deliver a speech in Korea, for example,
you may wish to temper the frequency and intensity of your
eye contact. But honestly, how often are you in Seoul, delivering
a presentation in front of an exclusively Korean audience?
I don't mean to be glib with this observation.As someone who
grew up in a European culture, has traveled and worked in many
parts of the world, and now resides in the United States, I greatly
appreciate the need to be sensitive to the different cultural signals
and norms that I encounter. But make no mistake about it: in the
overwhelming amount of business scenarios, especially in this
intensely globalized world, the communication standard is uniform.
Offering strong eye contact signals "I care about you, my
audience member."Violating this implicit norm will, in the end, be
interpreted as rude behavior-not the other way around.
Myth #7: It is impossible to give eye contact in a darkened room,
when I cannot see my audience.
True-there are rooms where you, the speaker, are on stage, and
the lights in the auditorium are dim. I know presenters who
actually long for this kind of room arrangement. It allows them
to deliver a speech as planned, without the distraction of having
to respond to the body language of the audience.
But who says the lights in the auditorium or room must stay
completely dark? Who decided that this is the way you will deliver
your presentation? I have never presented in a room where a light
adjustment was impossible. It is part of my responsibility as a
presenter to create the best possible conditions for impacting
my audience. A dark room deprives me of a major opportunity
to connect. It, in fact, sends a strong indirect message to my audience:
Take a nap, because I'm not very interested in seeing you
anyway. So, please adjust the physical circumstances of your presentation.
Remove the darkness barrier. Bring in some candles. Pull
aside the shades. Find the light switch. Turn on the lights!
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